Night pages 66-84

The summer comes to an end; the Jewish year is almost over. The eve of Rosh Hashanah, the last day of the Jewish year, sees an increase in the tension and agitation of the Jewish prisoners. Following the evening meal, thousands of Jews gathered in silence. The prisoners begin to pray to the Lord. The faith of the narrator, however, is shattered; he wonders "Why, but why should I bless Him? Every fiber in me rebelled. Because He caused thousands of children to burn in His mass graves? Because He kept six crematoria working night and day, including Sabbath and the Holy Days?" (p. 67). The narrator still believes in God, but he sincerely doubts the justice of Him. The narrator does not understand why God allows His chosen people to burn in German furnaces. The narrator remembers back, to when "in days gone by, Rosh Hashanah had dominated my life. I knew that my sins grieved the Almighty and so I pleaded for forgiveness. In those days, I fully believed that the salvation of the world depended on every one of my deeds, on every one of my prayers" (p. 68). In those bygone days, the narrator remembers somewhat wistfully and slightly cynically his unconditional conviction that the world depended upon his prayers; nows he is bitterly convinced that the Lord cares not for the fate of His people. The narrator runs to look for his father. Through all this despair and prayer for deliverance the narrator and father come to understand each other better than ever. The narrator glances into his father's face, "trying to glimpse a smile or something like it on his stricken face. But there was nothing. Not a shadow of an expression. Defeat" (69). The narrator looks to his father for comfort, for some reassurance that everything will end well, but his father has accepted their doomed position. Upon the arrival of Yom Kippur, the question of whether or not to fast is heavily debated. The narrator has already accepted that he will not fast; he no longer chooses to accept God;s silence in their suffering. He notes that he feels a great void opening within himself; this void is a spiritual obstacle barring him from his relationship with God. The narrator then ironically notes that the SS gave the Jews a "beautiful present" for the new year. This "present" is the gift of selection; those selected, who are noted for their frailty, will be thrown into the crematoria. The veterans needle the newcomers, telling them the harshness and consistency of past selections to prove the inferiority and softness of the newcomers. The narrator has been moved to a construction block, separate from his father. He is worried about his father, terrified that his father will be selected. They are advised to run about, to make them appear healthier and stronger, to add more color to their pale bodies. The prisoners are made to run past three SS officers along with Dr. Mengele. Those who go unmentioned, including the narrator, rejoice in the fact that they will live to see another day; however, "those whose numbers had been noted were standing apart, abandoned by the world. Some were silently weeping" (p. 72).

The SS officers leave, and officer of the narrator's block
wearily states that no one had been selected, though this is obviously untrue as "a poor emaciated Jew questioned
him anxiously, his voice trembling:
'But...sir. They did write me down!' At that, the Blockalteste vented his anger. What! Someone refused to take his word?" (p. 73). The narrator cares not for this exchange; he rushes to the block where his father resides, terrified that his father might have been selected. His father meets him with the good news of his passing and a present of a half ration of bread. A few days pass, and then the numbers of the unfortunate who have been selected are read out. It is learned that the narrator's father is one of the selected; he attempts to reassure the narrator, saying that there is to be a secondary inspection which he will surely pass, but he betrays his misgivings as he attempts to give his son a knife and a spoon, all that he has that might as yet be useful to the narrator. The narrator walks around meaninglessly all day. He notes that "I myself didn't know whether I wanted the day to go by quickly or not. I was afraid of finding myself alone that evening. How good it would be to die right here!" (p. 75-76). The narrator realizes that without his father, he would be alone in this camp; he feels that it would be better to die on the spot than to live under such condition. He rushes back to the camp; "were there still miracles on this earth? He was alive. He had passed the second selection. He had still proved his usefulness...I gave him back his knife and spoon" (p. 76). Several Jews lose their faith in the face of the selection; Akiba Drumer and a rabbi from a small town in Poland both begin to question whether God has abandoned them. He asks that they pray the Kaddish for him after he is killed; "there followed terrible days. We received more blows than food. The work was crushing. And three days after he left, we forgot to say Kaddish" (p. 77). As the harsh conditions drain the vitality of the Jews, so it drains their faith in the justice and love of God. The foot of the narrator fills with pus, and he is kept in the infirmary. Another man warns him "don't rejoice too soon, son. Here too there is selection. In fact, more often than outside. Germany has no need of sick Jews" (p. 78). Germany exploited the Jews for their labor; once they were too unhealthy to provide adequate labor, they were hastily disposed of to limit "unnecessary" food consumption.

The narrator's doctor comes to inform him of the upcoming operation on his foot. Following the operation, the narrator is terrified that his foot has been amputated. He is informed by the doctor that he will be fine, he simply needs two weeks of bed rest. Two days after his operation, rumors begin to spread that the Russian Red Army was advancing on Buna. The narrator is accustomed to such rumors, but this particular rumor appears to be well founded as they have been able to hear cannons in the distance for the last few nights. The narrator's neighbor in the infirmary gloomily reports that Hitler will annihilate the Jews before "the clock strikes twelve". When pressed for a reason why his viewpoint is such, he wearily replies, "I have more faith in Hitler than in anyone else. He alone has kept his promises, all of his promises, to the Jewish people" (p. 81). The news comes that very afternoon that the camp will be evacuated. The Jews would be sent to the deepest parts of Germany. A doctor informs them that all those in the infirmary will not be evacuated. Those in the infirmary wearily prophesy that those in the infirmary will either be thrown in the furnaces or the whole camp will be blown up with mines. The narrator searches out his father to ascertain whether he should stay in the infirmary or evacuate with the others. His father hesitates, then tells hi to evacuate so as to not be separated. The narrator interjects a few years to the future when he notes that it was discovered that those in the infirmary were left alone and liberated by the Russians. The narrator returns to his block and is told to sleep, to gather strength for the coming journey. He sadly notes that it reminded him of his mother. The next morning, the block is cleaned throughout. When pressed, the reason for this seemingly meaningless task is that "For the liberating army...Let them know that here lived men and not pigs" (p. 84). THe bell rings, a funeral tone, and the blocks begin to depart from the camp.